( Private )

Prima seems to think it is not possible for a person to be thoroughly drunk before 11 am. Of course, I see this is a test and I have to prove her wrong. Seeing how my businesses seem to practically run on their own these days, I will be spending the next five hours proving my darling wife wrong at the Hogshead.

Should have never helped her learn English.

( Private )

It seems Prima has become addicted to licorice wands and chocolate frogs. She keeps pestering me because, apparently, she has never been to Hogsmeade. She says she "heard there was a candy shop" and she just had to go. I swear, if this turns into another trick of hers to get me out and buying her clothes again I'm going to scream.

I hope everybody else is doing well. And that Dolvy is not murdering anybody's child.

Insert boring businessman mumbo jumbo here.

Okay, now that the business bit is done I can go on to the fun stuff. For all those who were annoyed with me throwing a fit over almost getting my wife pregnant... Well, I was going to say something but I forgot entirely. Bugger. Anyways, I have just spent the last week comforting my lovely wife who had gone to the doctors only to be told she could not get pregnant. Of course, my father is amazingly upset at this and is actually considering it grounds for divorce.

Within this last week I have also started to actually get along with my wonderful wife only to find we have some things in common. She does not play Quidditch, but she loves watching it. not to mention we also have a habit of drooling over the same blokes.

Oddly enough, I am hoping there is some way to prevent this divorce. If not, I am actually hoping she and I actually stay friends.

I'm heading out for a drink. Anybody interested in joining me? I may or may not be buying.

GUESS WHO ISN'T GOING TO BE A DADDY! ME!

Free hugs for everybody!

I come bearing.... Good news? Prima believes she may be pregnant. Has to be immaculate conception or something because Salazaar knows I have never touched her. Or at least, not in the time period she is saying. Hopefully it is a false alarm. Seriously, can anybody imagine me as a father?

Then again, I may be a father if Wilkes is actually settling down. Two impossibilities in one month. Who would have thought?

( Private )

EDGAR! HEY I'M DRUNK AND I WANT COMPANY SO YOU GET YOUR SORRY ARSE DOWN TO THIS PUB IMMEDIATELY!

If you don't then I'll simply have to pass out drunkenly in the street without you and you'll be forced to explain to my wife why I was dead in a gutter when we were supposed to be out... doing something. I forgot what lie I told her.

'm not drunk.

( Private )

Being a grown up is boring. It is all about telling people what to do, where to go, how to spend certain money, and all annoying things. I despise responsibility.

Prima installed a swing set. Hell if I know why. All she says is it is as a good luck present to make sure we have children soon. hate. sex. so much. I want to play on the swing-set. I wonder how many odd looks I would receive. Most likely only Prima's.

Also, if I hit bankruptcy before thirty I will know why.

( Bloody Prima )

( Private )

Sorry to those who weren't invited to my wedding. It was a very quick affair. Prima is a wonderful woman. Apparently her hobbies are constantly lurking over my shoulder, giving me confused looks whenever we attempt to talk, and giggling in the most annoying way. Oh yes, and buying dresses. Lots of horrible, ugly dresses. Did I mention she's barely learning English? I thought everybody in the pureblood world knew English these days. Then again, she may understand English but is simply very stupid.

Somebody save me from this crazy wife of mine.

( Prima )

( Private )

Apparently hiding from the family is never a good idea. Of course, I know other people know that better than I. Funny the rumours that go around the higher circles. So-And-So cut off So-And-So. I can only hope So-And-So's boyfriend is doing well. And he better not be turning up to work drunk again. I'm sure he needs that job now more than ever.

( Private )

Dolohov, I'm pretty sure you're in my debt now. Not to mention your mutt drooled all over my pants legs.

If anybody sees my father do tell him I'm off visiting... I don't know. Make up a name. Anybody have a hangover potion? Oh sod it. Alcohol cures hangovers.